My talents and special skills include but are not limited to: Not wearing shoes-Riding the Chicago CTA drunk/ dressed like a hooker- Going to Lady Gaga concerts- Getting really random injuries- Forgetting to roll up my car windows- Ignoring Adult responsibilities- Wasting time on the Internet- Buying disposable Cell phones- Mentally flipping people off- Eating popcorn- Drinking Owl Wine- Using the word FUCK as creatively and as often as possible- Forgetting how to use Photoshop- Having the weakest selfie game on the planet- Pretending to be a Princess- Mentally Dating Benedict Cumberbatch



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I was told the average girl begins to plan her wedding at the age of 7. She picks the colors and the cake first.

By the age of 10 she knows time, and location.

By 17 she’s already chosen a gown, 2 bridesmaids and a maid of honor.

By 23 she’s waiting for a man who wont break out in hives when he hears the word “commitment”, someone who doesn’t smell like a Band-Aid drenched in lonely, someone who isn’t a temporary solution to the empty side of the bed, someone who’ll hold her hand like it’s the only one they’ve ever seen.

To be honest, I don’t know what kind of tux I’ll be wearing, I have no clue what my wedding will look like.

But I imagine the women who pins my last to hers will butterfly down the aisle like a 5 foot promise.

I imagine her smile will be so large that you’ll see it on google maps, and know exactly where our wedding is being held.

The woman that I plan to marry will have champagne in her walk, and I will get drunk on her footsteps.

When the pastor asks if I take this woman to be my wife, I will say yes before he finishes the sentence. I’ll apologize later for being impolite but I will also explain him that our first kiss happened 6 years ago and I’ve been practicing my “Yes” for past 2, 165 days.

When people ask me about my wedding I never really know what to say, but when they ask me about my future wife I always tell them her eyes are the only Christmas lights that deserve to be seen all year long. I say she thinks too much, misses her father, loves to laugh, and she’s terrible at lying because her face never figured out how to do it correctly.

I tell them if my alarm clock sounded like her voice, my snooze button would collect dust. I tell them if she came in a bottle I would drink her until my vision is blurry and my friends take away my keys. If she was a book, I would memorize her table of contents. I would read her cover-to-cover, hoping to find typos, just so we can both have a few things to work on.

Because aren’t we all unfinished? Don’t we all need a little editing Aren’t we all waiting to be proofread by someone? Aren’t we all praying they will tell us that we make sense? She don’t always make sense, but her imperfections are the things I love about her the most.

I don’t know when I will be married. I don’t know where I will be married but I do know this, whenever I’m asked about my future wife— I always say: …She’s a lot like you.

Rudy Francisco (via creatingaquietmind)

(Source: katcossio)

heyitspj:

The only reason dragons don’t exist is because nobody has the patience to train a lizard to level 36

widovvs:

my friends gave me a fucking sippy cup because I threw a taquito at the tv

anonymousnerdgirl:

eattheclones:

i hope one day there is a halloween party where daniel radcliffe goes as frodo baggins and elijah wood goes as harry potter 

imagine the havoc

imagine the photos

Only if Ian Mckellen goes as Dumbledore and Michael Gambon goes as Gandalf.